So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
