So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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