TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
