New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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