Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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