just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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