I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
