if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
