I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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