READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
