she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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