Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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