Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
