I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
