he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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