Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.