a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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