Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
