somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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