let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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