Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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