I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
