there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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