She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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