I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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