Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
