do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
