on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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