don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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