Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
