Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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