Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
