i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
