Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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