No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
