Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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