i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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