i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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