Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
