Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
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I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
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dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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