After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Your cock deserves a montage
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
