I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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