I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
