just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
