please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
