apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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