so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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