Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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