Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
