You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize