I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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