I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize