Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
