you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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