I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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