The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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