Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
