The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
